Post by slendermaschine on Jan 3, 2014 8:42:19 GMT -5
Everywhere I look there's "So-and-so's" Top 10 who gives a damn, so now here's a spot to post YOUR Top (or Bottom) whatever the hell you want lists concerning the last year. Things you loved? Have at it! Anything you despised? Give it a swing to the knees, friend!
So that said here's my own 2013 retrospective:
1. "What Does the Fox Say?" - I never saw the entire video, but unlike Korey on the last podcast, I wish death upon each and every innocent who worked on that wretched piece of shit.
2. Duck Dynasty - Unless you're talking Scrooge McDuck or a hilarious Ancient Chinese military empire composed entirely of water fowl, fuck off.
3. Hollywood.com - Based in New York, so not only are they a shitty company, but they're geographically challenged as well.
4. Kanye West - Why Lobotomies are NOT an outdated practice.
5. Man of Steel - I liked that Superman didn't give a fuck and just beat the ever-loving shit out of Zod through a field and then a building. Also, I find it ironic when people complain about Man of Steel shoe-horning in Christian themes but bitch about him not being a saintly boyscout who can walk granny to safety in the middle of the planet being terra-formed by superpowered aliens. Superman's been done how many times by now? So what's the harm in having an interpretation where he's a bit of a dickhead who doesn't think things through now and again? Just allow it, there will be more Superman interpretations, I promise.
6. Miley Cyrus can have her tongue taken out in the Game of Thrones fashion for all I care. In fact, put that little cunt Joffrey to use and force them together in a nightmare relationship that would actually be cathartic to watch.
7. Hey indie game devs! The NES called and they got a dial-tone because nobody uses a fucking land line in 2014. Seriously, cut it with the lazy fucking "retro" bullshit and make a proper goddamn game, eh? Skyrim mods are free compared to your ten dollar shit and look better than what all of Bethesda even made.
8. If we put ricin in each person's food who instagram'd it, we could cure world hunger in the long run.
9. Grumpy cat + CoD Dog = Proof of low our standards for something half-way decent have become between viral and standard media. See also: #1&2
10. Whether you like zombies or not, can we all sit down and just agree that at the end of the day they're also kinda fucking stupid? As for myself, I think that zombie apocalypse = instant assholes everywhere, so I really don't give two shits about who lives or dies, so all this zombie craze that has stirred the interpersonal/sociological drama chili with The Walking Dead, the Last of Us, so on and so forth? Either zombies beg to get their heads shot, douchebags act like proper douchebags on bath salts, or dumbshits get their asses chomped acting stupid, so at the end of the day it's all an excuse to see some bloodshed to me, so *meh*
11. Why does Yahoo! still exist? Can we at least condemn that abortion of a search engine of their's to a blackhole up satan's ass? Every time I think Google is shit, all I have to remember is Yahoo still bloody exists, and that is a travesty.
12. The Mayans are still fucking wrong, and they're getting wronger by the minute. So there.*
*Really more of a dig at Assassin's Creed and Roland Emmerich.
13. I was going to stop at 12, but then I remembered that there's a gold iPhone. Makes me sad about the lack of fruition on 12's part, because goddamn have we hit a record cultural low what with the Harlem Shake, Kardashians, Miley Cyrus turkey-ass-jerkin' at a Beetle Juice-dressed twat named fucking "Robin," Duck Dynasty not being about an affluent cartoon duck, being an over-privileged literal Joffrey of a cunt to be considered legally binding enough of disorder to excuse manslaughter, and now a gold fucking iPhone, to boot? We are collectively boned if 2014 doesn't get better than that, so with a fresh start I guess I can only say we only have up to go from here. Hell, Mitt Romney has an adopted black nephew, so if that isn't a clear sign that hell has finally frosted over then I don't know what is.
So Cheers and Happy New Year. And don't fuck up that 100k, Korey. Winter hascome bee cum.
So that said here's my own 2013 retrospective:
1. "What Does the Fox Say?" - I never saw the entire video, but unlike Korey on the last podcast, I wish death upon each and every innocent who worked on that wretched piece of shit.
2. Duck Dynasty - Unless you're talking Scrooge McDuck or a hilarious Ancient Chinese military empire composed entirely of water fowl, fuck off.
3. Hollywood.com - Based in New York, so not only are they a shitty company, but they're geographically challenged as well.
4. Kanye West - Why Lobotomies are NOT an outdated practice.
5. Man of Steel - I liked that Superman didn't give a fuck and just beat the ever-loving shit out of Zod through a field and then a building. Also, I find it ironic when people complain about Man of Steel shoe-horning in Christian themes but bitch about him not being a saintly boyscout who can walk granny to safety in the middle of the planet being terra-formed by superpowered aliens. Superman's been done how many times by now? So what's the harm in having an interpretation where he's a bit of a dickhead who doesn't think things through now and again? Just allow it, there will be more Superman interpretations, I promise.
6. Miley Cyrus can have her tongue taken out in the Game of Thrones fashion for all I care. In fact, put that little cunt Joffrey to use and force them together in a nightmare relationship that would actually be cathartic to watch.
7. Hey indie game devs! The NES called and they got a dial-tone because nobody uses a fucking land line in 2014. Seriously, cut it with the lazy fucking "retro" bullshit and make a proper goddamn game, eh? Skyrim mods are free compared to your ten dollar shit and look better than what all of Bethesda even made.
8. If we put ricin in each person's food who instagram'd it, we could cure world hunger in the long run.
9. Grumpy cat + CoD Dog = Proof of low our standards for something half-way decent have become between viral and standard media. See also: #1&2
10. Whether you like zombies or not, can we all sit down and just agree that at the end of the day they're also kinda fucking stupid? As for myself, I think that zombie apocalypse = instant assholes everywhere, so I really don't give two shits about who lives or dies, so all this zombie craze that has stirred the interpersonal/sociological drama chili with The Walking Dead, the Last of Us, so on and so forth? Either zombies beg to get their heads shot, douchebags act like proper douchebags on bath salts, or dumbshits get their asses chomped acting stupid, so at the end of the day it's all an excuse to see some bloodshed to me, so *meh*
11. Why does Yahoo! still exist? Can we at least condemn that abortion of a search engine of their's to a blackhole up satan's ass? Every time I think Google is shit, all I have to remember is Yahoo still bloody exists, and that is a travesty.
12. The Mayans are still fucking wrong, and they're getting wronger by the minute. So there.*
*Really more of a dig at Assassin's Creed and Roland Emmerich.
13. I was going to stop at 12, but then I remembered that there's a gold iPhone. Makes me sad about the lack of fruition on 12's part, because goddamn have we hit a record cultural low what with the Harlem Shake, Kardashians, Miley Cyrus turkey-ass-jerkin' at a Beetle Juice-dressed twat named fucking "Robin," Duck Dynasty not being about an affluent cartoon duck, being an over-privileged literal Joffrey of a cunt to be considered legally binding enough of disorder to excuse manslaughter, and now a gold fucking iPhone, to boot? We are collectively boned if 2014 doesn't get better than that, so with a fresh start I guess I can only say we only have up to go from here. Hell, Mitt Romney has an adopted black nephew, so if that isn't a clear sign that hell has finally frosted over then I don't know what is.
So Cheers and Happy New Year. And don't fuck up that 100k, Korey. Winter has